Second Acts.

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said, “There are no second acts in American lives.”  This is clearly dated as today 62% of female entrepreneurs are ages 40-59. In fact, as the number of birthday candles grows toward that of a forest fire instigator, and our wisdom, creativity and risk-taking flourishes, a question among aging women has become commonplace: “What’s your second act?”

THE CLIMB

Despite the very real issue of ageism, women of a certain age are breaking through more than glass ceilings, but the very mold of established businesses.  It was not enough for Serena Williams to be the GOAT of tennis, she established Serena Ventures designed to fund women and minority founders; 14 of the companies in her portfolio have reached “unicorn” status (eg, privately held startups valued at more than $1billion).  I have had the honor of interviewing groundbreaking entrepreneurs and personally know — and adore — so many women who have launched beauty companies (Rile’s Kelly Atterton, 31^st State’s Stephanie Capuano, Gryt founder Kathryn Beaton), wellness brands (Micropause’s Emily Wagner), business ventures (THE BOARD by April Uchitel) and media companies (Sarah Clary, Christina Glickman, Katie Fogerty) as their second act.  I admire their hustle and grit.  What makes them incredibly interesting is that this is not their first rodeo; this is prime mid-life drive.  They’ve experienced success in their first career.  Many are still raising families.  Yet they want to create something new, something breakthrough. They want to keep going.

THE CAUSE

After years of our collective groaning about the 30 under 30 lists needing a midlife upgrade, Forbes launched their “50 Over 50” list in 2021; it’s no surprise this inaugural list had an overwhelming 10,000 submissions.  The list was overdue. And yet — at the same time — the list was irrelevant.  By 50, we don’t need a list to know we are fantastic, or to even motivate and inspire our creativity. Our generation of women empowering women on the reg upstages lists.  But we deserve the accolade, so thank you Forbes.

But for decades so many have worked under the radar, hitting goals and making our marks individually, with victories that were collective as we were team players. So many of us stepped away from careers, where we may have once felt seen (a topic I have written about prior) through our salary and title, to raise families.  Motherhood, while glorious and rewarding, is not known for recognition.  In both instances, there is a sense of “once I do everything for everyone else, I can do something for myself.”  Financial obligations and family caretaking always take priority, but — as we know from the explosion of the now $1.5 trillion self-care industry — finding joy for things we want to do vs. need to do creeps in with age.  As our estrogen declines, creativity soars and the drive to feel fulfilled incontrovertible.

THE DRIVE

The NY Times “It’s Never Too Late” series is evidence that we can motivate and fulfill dreams on our own terms. 

Stylist Roz Kaur, who has made an indelible impression on social media showcasing style and encouraging women to explore themselves through fashion, embraces the second act: “For me, the journey has been one of evolution and discovery. Coming to this country in my early 20’s, I was consumed with building what I thought was the American dream yet, amidst the hustle, I lost sight of my own dreams until I hit 50. Despite my career successes in styling and working with brands, there was a deeper calling that emerged—a passion for empowering women. I found myself transitioning from a stylist to more of a confidante, realizing that the fitting room became a sacred space where women shared their vulnerabilities.  It’s in those moments that I discovered my true purpose: to help women embrace their uniqueness and beauty beyond the surface level.”

Lyn Slater, former Accidental Icon and author of “How to Be Old,” calls this push to achieve “shoulds” as we age THE STRIVING: “THE STRIVING makes me feel frantic about the time left to do it, time to practice, and time to live one’s deepest desires.”  Slater believes, alternatively, that asking “What now?” feels kinder and softer…more like the gentle invitation that is prompted by curiosity about something.” And, more importantly, “it implies satisfaction with whom we are at our core.”

Therein lies the crux of the second act.  We don’t need to pursue it to validate our existence.  Mic drop.

MY U-TURN

While my own second act began at 41, as I pivoted from a career in-house at Calvin Klein to marriage, motherhood (twins!) and a move to the south — in a whiplash two-year time span — the entrée into freelance writing was slow.  But over fifteen years, it has escalated significantly with brand assignments, editorial and pitching a lifelong dream fashion essay collection.  Much like Roz, I am evolving toward utmost fulfillment without the hassle of the hustle.

I found similar sentiments in Shonda Rhime’s engaging memoir, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person: “This yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the priority from what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.”  After 45+ years of life, filled with love, loss and hard work, there is no better time than enjoying the fruits of your labor.”

If you have yet to grant yourself permission to answer, “what now?” in a way that fills you with joy rather than dread — or fear — what are you waiting for?

THE PAUSE

My dearest friend Audrey kicked off this second act train of thought weeks ago when she declared, “I’m anti-second shift.  I don’t want more goals.  I just want to relax and enjoy life in a Ms. Roper caftan.”  Now, don’t get me wrong, this girl has been a go-getter since her youth; she is not currently sitting around.  She is trying new fitness classes, expanding and remodeling homes and mothering a teen girl (a job in and of itself).  What she is not doing is starting a new company, taking on a new strategic venture or analyzing the color of her parachute.  She is filling her cup without having to expand her resume.

THE PEACE

As I began crafting this piece, I posted the query below on social media — the resounding reply, from current entrepreneurs and women who’ve left the workplace alike, was peace.  Yet overwhelming statistics are contrary to this desired end goal of laying low.  We need to ask ourselves why.  Do we have something to prove to the world — or are we doing this for ourselves.  Are we driven by creativity and joy of a new challenge — or are we pushing to make our mark on a world that has yet to acknowledge us. 

There is no one right answer. It’s up to you.

As Coco Chanel said, “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”

PS:

While you ponder your evolution, a great read on this topic is Great Second Acts: In Praise of Older Women, a motivating collection of stories about empowering women who were “feisty after fifty” — among them Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Julia Child, Mother Teresa, Gloria Steinem, Rita Moreno, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and more.