Worthy.

Be clear on how you want to be treated. Know your worth. Always.” – Maryam Hasnaa.

It’s been more than half a century since L’Oreal launched the “I’m Worth It Campaign” yet we need reminding more than ever.  Not because we require goading to spend on beauty — which was L’Oreal’s original intent as it was the “most expensive hair color in the world” at the time — but today despite luxuriating in $430 billion of beauty, we still don’t recognize our value.

Slow Your Scroll

Studies consistently show the effects of social media on body image can lead to serious negative consequences for psychological and physical wellbeing — “the more time spent on social media, the more likely it is for an individual to experience decreased levels of self-esteem” thanks to filters and photo editing creating unrealistic beauty standards.

OG beauty editor Linda Wells (whose Air Mail Look articles are brilliantly candid and live up to the tagline “Deep Thoughts on Superficial Matters”) agrees saying, “Today’s version of that extreme, exaggerated beauty is the big-eyed, narrow nosed, puffy lipped face of social media.  On TikTok, there are so many videos of people getting injection to fatten their lips, lift their noses, smooth their foreheads, and pop their cheekbones that all the effort and results have become banal.”  Celebrity hairstylist Garren concurs, “People don’t know what beauty is anymore.”

As we are losing our individuality, we are subconsciously chipping away at our self-esteem thanks to social influence(rs) guiding a uniform aesthetic.  Your worth should not be tied to looking like anyone — or everyone, for that matter — else.

I find a digital detox (even a few days hiatus) helps, and unfollowing accounts that don’t lift me up is often in order.  I lean into women who showcase vulnerability and a soulful side or feature fun fashion; I steer clear of constant sales links. I deleted Facetune.  As I have written about previously, less is always more.

Aging ≠ Invisibility

While our impact may have once been in question, aging women are now far more vocal about being seen. Heard. Challenged.

Yet last month, Harvard Business Review addressed the subject with compelling research findings: “As women age, they are often not seen as valuable or relevant in the way that male counterparts are. Older women in our research expressed that they were deemed unworthy of advancement…Many younger women experienced a credibility deficit.” 

Age is not the only issue: “…research has only just begun to investigate how age is used to justify bias and discrimination specifically against women. Gendered ageism sits at the intersection of age and gender bias and is a double whammy where there is “no right age” for professional women…There was always an age-based excuse to not take women seriously, to discount their opinions, or to not hire or promote them. Each individual woman may believe she’s just at the wrong age, but the data make the larger pattern clear. Any age can be stigmatized by supervisors and colleagues to claim that the woman is not valued or is not a fit for a leadership role.”

It’s no wonder we pale in feelings of worth.

Without seeking outside approval (or validation via external things like our clothing size), there are ways to learn how to increase our self-esteem from the go getters showing us they won’t be discounted or ignored.  I am always inspired by disruptors overcoming the notorious challenges of start-ups — while females receive only 2% of the total capital invested in the US (Europe is even lower at 0.9%), they are outperforming all-male founding teams by 63%. And ageism is being crushed by these results¹:

·      The average age of a tech founder at the top 0.1% of startups is 45

·      The average age of entrepreneurs at the time of their company's founding is 42

·      A 60-year-old is 3x as likely to build a successful startup than a 30 year old. 

This is also an opportunity to lean into envy — envy can be a powerful tool to drive you forward; use others’ success as a motivator to achieve your own goals.

But remember, this is all about community rather than competition.  Competition lends itself to jealousy, which leads to tearing down others and defending your lot in life.  As Serena Williams has said, “Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another, we’re strongest when we cheer each other on.”  Know the difference.

Want to meet — and be inspired by — female founders? Check out my Founder Friday series on Instagram.

Not currently in business?  Self-worth is critical in our everyday lives.  Having goals and achieving them can — and often does — mean even more close to home.  “If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader,” Dolly Parton once said.  Parenthood (for example) is not for the weak.

Fashion = Identity

Stylists and designers alike have changed the vernacular about fashion — making wardrobes about fulfilling who you are, rather than what you want to look like.  There is no greater path to self-worth.

Allison Bornstein’s new book “Wear It Well: Reclaim Your Closet and Rediscover the Joy of Getting Dressed” is the quintessential read for identifying your personal style “that delights your spirit and reflects your most authentic self.”  Much like Tibi Founder Amy Smilovic (whose tome I previously touted), Allison believes in the three-word method to describe your personal style, guiding you to steer clear of overbuying and getting sucked into trends.  I am a huge fan of her “Wrong Shoe Theory” as it encourages individuality and standing out from the crowd; a self-esteem booster no matter the heel height.

Similarly, stylist (and spiritual guide, as her business is coined “Style Therapy”) Lillian Charles strives to “transform the way you show up in the world.”

Regardless of your style inspiration, when you wear what matters -- to you -- there is no comparison.  No one can take away the joy of getting dressed, the self-esteem you feel or what you achieve. As Vogue has said, “Your closet isn’t frivolous, it contains a myriad of channels to heightened performance, a selection of gateways to the best versions of yourself.”

Caroline Baudino, who is rapidly becoming an Instagram phenom for her cheerleading spirit and “Let’s Get Dressed and Do This” mantra is exactly the self-worth reminder many are seeking.  While there are links galore, the heart of her mission is genuine positivity and empowerment.

But more than anyone identified here, it’s up to you. Only you can truly determine your worth.  And whatever tools you need to boost your self-esteem -- I have found creativity and fitness uplift me greatly -- are within your reach. So go get ‘em.

Because you’re worth it.

¹ Thank you Jeanine Suah for these brilliant statistics.