Smells Like Teen Spirit.

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

You can’t swing a hoodie without hitting (yet another) article about the pandemonium that is tween/teen skincare.  There are too many brands with excessive adult (read unnecessary as well as damaging) ingredients, moneyed bossy girls ransacking samples and a fresh-faced generation already fearing aging.

Before the breakout (no pun intended) of the recent articles, I wrote a piece for The Quality Edit introducing the latest launches for this less than skin savvy audience.  As a mother of twin 14-year-old boys, my intent — and the mission of these new brands — is to get kids to wash their face and learn to take care of their skin.  It’s an education, not a makeover.

We know firsthand, but also from evergreen research, that troubled skin is connected to emotional and social consequences. Depression continues to rise among teens and while social media and smartphones are deemed to be the largest culprits, self-esteem issues are synonymous with puberty. Skincare is important. But it’s not the solution.

Having not walked into a Sephora since it launched in the late 90’s — and a boy mom — I had not experienced the madness. These retail consumers are not unsavvy; teen girls are fluent in ingredient vocabulary, yet often limited in comprehension.

As sage writer and beauty critic Jessica DeFino writes, “Adults are projecting their beliefs on to their babies.” Much like "Almond Moms” who are obsessed with diet culture and raising their offspring with this mentality (yes, there continues to be a rise in teen eating disorders), DeFino believes there is a “Serum Mom " obsessed with meeting a certain standard of beauty, and nurture[ing] the same obsession in her children.”

A resounding yes.

Solving the hairpulling in Sephora (there was a literal girl fight over products) is only a short-term fix. As role models, we need to explore our own personal obsession with beauty products and stop falling prey to deceptive claims or attaching our self-worth to a youthful visage.  Unlike our broods, we know better.  With age, not only comes wisdom but self-esteem.

Fear of aging is driving this issue, and while we can’t will society to embrace aging — sadly, youth will always be in demand — our actions (and words!) can show the essence of true beauty to others. Especially those following in our footsteps. Let’s shine as the healthy, successful, stylish, risk-takers who get better with age.

Alternatively, we could drop the ubiquitous word beauty once and for all; Helen Mirren has great thoughts on this. For the sake of the children.

Want to know more about this hysteria? Among the many, many exposés on the epidemic, select pieces (Glossy, The Independent, Distractify, The Cut) might just be the wake up call to adjust how you perceive beauty for yourself — to start giving yourself more grace and embrace aging more — change the rules at home for your teens, or buy more birth control.